Changing Scenery

Changing jobs...this is supposed to be one of the big stresses in life. Saying goodbye to coworkers that I have enjoyed. Thoroughly.  Especially one particular young man, the age of my oldest daughter.  Wes. Wes chair dances - and his walk is a strut/shuffle/slide to music no one else hears. He has a wide grin at all times and, this is my personal favorite, has a charming accent.  Several of them...at times all of them vying for a voice: Spanish, German, Australian, Russian...you never know what will issue from his mouth when he drops by to talk to you about ads. He has taken to calling himself Vladimir lately. I smile.

That is what I did at the job I am leaving - supervisor of the yellow page team that proofed the ads placed in one of the phone books we produced. It was a good job for me - fast-paced and interesting as I began learning this industry over the past 2-1/2 years.
I thought I would be there until I retire - but no.

As I was saying - it is the people I will miss. My supervisor, Mark, was a Christian gentlemen from his inside out. Is a Christian gentleman. He didn't die or anything - just stayed with the company I had the nerve to leave.
But that is kind of what leaving people you really care about is like -  a little death.  Because no matter what we say about staying in touch - it is hard to make it come true as the new leg of the journey draws you into new relationships and there are only 24 hours a day.  Mark made my life easier. He knows how and why. And I bless God for sending him in to watch over a year that saw me nastily unhealthy - and trembling from a dark "thing" that befell my youngest daughter earlier this year.

There you are at work - body parts failing on you and wanting to leap up and drive to Wisconsin every moment for the better part of eight months.  And there was Mark - praying for me, listening to me, nodding and smiling when I got tears in my eyes while discussing - ads. Whew. Good job, Mark, for not taking to drink while herding me through those work days.

My co-supervisors (Vladimir was one of them) were diverse and interesting and talented and wonderful. They made me feel welcome when I entered stage right, and made me feel down right loved when I exited stage left today.

The culture was like a big family. Like most families - it had it's fair share of dysfunction...but in a charming way.  No one ever beat me. Though I am fairly certain one manager considered it from time to time.  Nice self-control, Bernadette.

And I learned so much - how to supervise people whose income depended on the job you were supervising. No pressure there - for any of us. I am not sure how I should be graded on supervision - I tend to be more of a mother, or an eccentric sister or aunt. Sigh.

The women who worked with me - my Team - were amazing women one and all. They were all so smart and funny and the cared. That is really precious these days in a work setting it seems to me.  I hate apathy. It is so cold - it is the opposite of love and life.  These women - ages mid-twenties to sixty-something - care. About their families, about their friends, about their world, about each other and...about me.  They also cared about their work.  They want to do that right. They jumped through hoops and changed direction several times a day, sometimes an hour, at my first request.  If I asked them to jump, I was usually looking up because they had the habit of beating me to the punch where work was concerned. And when they made mistakes they didn't go around blaming others or defending themselves. They just kicked their own butts, smiled and made it right.

I truly love these women like family.  Well, almost. You know. They are dear to me - and moving on without them is bittersweet.

But, move on I have. I walked out tonight - and I will not be walking back into those rooms again. Not for pay, anyway!

You see, God has opened a new door.  A new fork in the road of my journey has appeared. All the old cliches.

Have I chosen the one less traveled by? That has been the MO for most of my life. Time will tell.

But I am so eager to begin this position that I am awake at 1:30 in the morning writing about it.

For two decades I have volunteered my time doing jail Bible studies, running Christian 12-steps, sponsoring people in AA and NA, mentoring with a state-run program that matches soon-to-be-released inmates with people like me. Etc.

Now I will be paid to do very similar things.  How did that happen?

I believe that we are, above all else, spirits. We have been given a "flesh car" to get around in - but we are eternal beings.  I also believe that Jesus brings true life to that spirit man when we accept Him as Lord and Savior.

After that, you are supposed to let him drive the car.

And lead the conversation and pick the road games and say who to pick up and carry along with you and who to drop off at the next corner.
He is Lord, after all.

He is supposed to decide when to stop for gas, food and potty breaks. He should be controlling the radio and He doesn't need a map, because...well, because HE IS THE MAP.

Supposed to. But the wonder, of all the gifts God gives, is this thing called free will.

I get to choose.

That is the difference between having the Jewish Carpenter for your boss...or Beelzebub. The fallen angel known as Lucifer strives to employ you also...but the more you work for him and his hellaceous company - the less you get to choose. He likes to bind you up till you are too addled to make choices and then just push you around until you, too, fall.

A lot of people think they are self-employed. I am only 57 years on the planet and certainly do not know everything - but I disagree with this philosophy. It has been my conclusion there are only two companies...and everyone works for one or the other of them.

Whew - thank God Jesus hired me away from that weirdo! CEO Lord of the Flies was a very pessimistic and oppressive administrator.

This new job is indeed an answer to my heart's cry. To use what time is left for me on the planet to work at something for which I  bear a deep passion. To resource and assist and encourage other addicts - like myself - to find sanity and a life, not just missing the horrors & humiliation of active addiction...but a life that is full of peace and honest work and laughter and friends and family that begin, slowly, to trust you.

Thankfully, though I sometimes felt like it was not true - Jesus is still at the wheel and made a turn for me into this new position here in old Kansas, USA, planet Earth (also known as God's Footstool).

So - here we go.  I realize that any good that comes to others through my new employment is from God alone - as He works through the planning and careful, hard work of those who have created this company and our state government that resources it.  But I feel blessed to be allowed to participate.

May I be a good employee - but mostly, may I be a good road companion to the One I love. I will try not to backseat drive or beg for the next gas station too many times. But when it comes to the radio I know Jesus understands - I am definitely singing along!

God bless us one and all.